When I have sadly misunderstood Him? (see John 20:11-18). It is possible to know all about doctrine and still not know Jesus. A person's soul is in grave danger when the knowledge of doctrine surpasses Jesus, avoiding intimate touch with Him. Why was Mary weeping? Doctrine meant no more to her than the grass under her feet. In fact, any Pharisee could have made a fool of Mary doctrinally, but one thing they could never ridicule was the fact that Jesus had cast seven demons out of her (see Luke 8:2); yet His blessings were nothing to her in comparison with knowing Jesus Himself. "... she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus... Jesus said to her, 'Mary!' " (John 20:14, 16). Once He called Mary by her name, she immediately knew that she had a personal history with the One who spoke. "She turned and said to Him, 'Rabboni!' " (20:16).

When I have stubbornly doubted? (see John 20:24-29). Have I been doubting something about Jesus—maybe an experience to which others testify, but which I have not yet experienced? The other disciples said to Thomas, "We have seen the Lord" (20:25). But Thomas doubted, saying, "Unless I see... I will not believe" (20:25).Thomas needed the personal touch of Jesus. When His touches will come we never know, but when they do come they are indiscribably precious. Thomas ... said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!'"

When I have selfishly denied Him? (see John 21:15-17). Peter denied Jesus Christ with oaths and curses (see Matthew 26:69-75), and yet after His resurrection Jesus appeared to Peter alone. Jesus restored Peter in private, and then He restored him publicly before the others. And Peter said to Him, "Lord... You know that I love You" (John 21:17).

Do I have a personal history with Jesus Christ? The one true sign of discipleship is intimate oneness with Him—a knowledge of Jesus that nothing can shake.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest: An Updated Edition in Today's Language, ed. James Reimann, Revised Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 1992), WORDsearch CROSS e-book